Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
