have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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