they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
