he thought i was a dude.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Let's get the cat blown out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
