Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize