3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize