Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
