No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
