I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
