Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
