I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
