This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
