Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
