I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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