dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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