It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize