those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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