we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just had sex on a roof
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
