It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
