I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
