You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
my liver is dry heaving
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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