? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
