Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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