Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize