I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
