Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
