she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
