Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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