some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
