Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
