RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
