Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
