the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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