if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
