yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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