OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
