Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
