I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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