You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
