When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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