Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
