Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
