"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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