Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
