you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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