Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
