we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
