And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
