His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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