I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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