Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
