i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize