Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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