Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
