So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
