what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
