I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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