Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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