He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
