I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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