dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
