he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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