She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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