Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
