yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
