Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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