We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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