I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
