WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
