Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
don't judge my taste in strippers
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize