On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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