chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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