Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
