so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
