I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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